Auto-Thoughts Recap

"Automatic thoughts, the ideas that just pop into your head quickly, without effort, and with little or no awareness, happen thousands of times each day. When you are upset by something, automatic thoughts run through your head telling you how to view the situation." - excerpt from Never Good Enough by Monica Ramirez Basco, Ph.D.

At our last meeting we discussed the topic of auto-thoughts and how they influence our perception of situations, and consequently, our physical and emotional reactions to those situations. Auto-thoughts play a huge role in sweating the small stuff. The problem is, they really are automatic and ingrained, and therefore difficult to change. The first step in changing a thinking error is to recognize it. The following are 3 steps we discussed that will help us change negative auto-thoughts. These steps are taken from the book, Be Happy Without Being Perfect by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D.

1) Identify Detrimental Thoughts
"Start by looking at a problem,' or something causing you stress, 'and backing up to find its root." "Pay extra-close attention to any thought that contains the absolutist words, "must," "should," "shouldn't," "always," "never," "have to," and "ought," because they often play a part in distorted thinking."
Writing down what you are thinking when you are feeling stressed can help you identify the root thought, as can asking yourself, "What is really bothering me here?" Then follow the rabbit trail back to the root of what is really bothering you. This can take some digging!

2) Challenge Your Thoughts
Look at all negative auto-thoughts you identify and demand answers to all of the questions below that are applicable.
- Is this thought really true?
- Am I jumping to conclusions?
- What is the evidence?
- Am I exaggerating or overemphasizing a negative aspect of the situation?
- Am I catastrophizing - that is, thinking of a small problem as a huge catastrophe?
- How do I know it will happen?
- So what if it happens?
-Is it really as bad as it seems?
- Is it to my advantage to maintain this appraisal?
- Is there another way to look at the situation?

3) Restructure Your Thoughts
"Examine the thought closely. Take from it any truth and push aside the distortions. Then re-create the thought in a way that causes less stress."
Example: Change the thought from "I can't sleep if there are dirty dishes in the sink." to "I prefer having the dishes done before I go to bed, but it's more important for me to sleep than to wash dishes."

I hope we are all able to identify a few of our biggest offenders. In the coming weeks we will work on tackling these together, and hopefully begin to experience some new found freedom in these areas!

~Heather